The other day, I heard a song that reminded me of a very different time in my life. My then fiancé and I were both working what felt like dead end jobs with few prospects for anything better. We lived in Wisconsin, suffering through the standard six months of hellish weather on an annual basis. Everything I did in life, including staying in Wisconsin, was dedicated to her – something I now know was a terrible mistake and would have been whether or not our eventual marriage had only lasted two years. But how could I know that? I hadn’t been with many women before her, so like most men in that situation, I held on for dear life and smothered any chance of her remaining interested in me out of existence. Anyway, we lived in a decent, but modest apartment, and we each drove a 10+ year old vehicle. We had some fun, but mostly it amounted to hanging out with family and friends. Every spare dollar went to paying down our student loans. From an objective perspective, our life together wasn’t much to look at. However, I was naively happy and didn’t expect any of the fundamental parts of it to change too dramatically from there. There’s a powerful sense of security in that, albeit a false one in many cases.
But as I waited for the fancy coffee machine in the clubhouse of the luxury apartment complex I live in to finish brewing the amazing coffee I enjoy every morning I’m in town, I marveled at how vastly different my life is today. While it can certainly be stressful, and is particularly so lately given the current state of the industry, my job pays about three times what I made back in the time I was referring to in the last paragraph. My side business adds almost as much as I was making back then with very little time commitment required on my part, bringing my total income to about four times what it was. I still have friends and family, but now instead of a long term relationship, I tend towards enjoying being with someone while it’s mutually enjoyable, then moving on when that passes. I appreciate every experience and I look forward to the next. I have no trouble finding women who want to spend time with me, so there isn’t any over-committing on my part and as a result, my relationships tend to be much better while they last. I fly planes and write for this blog in my spare time, and enjoy both activities immensely. Oh yeah. And I’m enjoying all of this stuff from the comfort of my favorite state, over a thousand miles from bitter Wisconsin, and I get to spend regular time in four of its biggest and best cities – Houston, Dallas, San Antonio, and Austin. Why choose just one?
Problems that used to seriously worry me aren’t even problems at all now. I was having some trouble with my computer the other day. And while I was able to get it fixed with the help of my teacher turned IT professional mother, it occurred to me that if I had needed to replace my year and a half old computer, I could do so and I would barely have noticed the difference in cashflow that month. I’m considering going on a nice vacation early next year and it has already occurred to me that once again, I can pay for it out of monthly cashflow and not really think twice. Oh. And I just bought myself a luxury sports car – although I did stay true to my principles in the way that I did it. I’ll get into that next week; I promise this time! The point of this isn’t to brag. The point is that there is a night and day difference between these two periods in my life. I’m going to guess what you may be thinking here. There must have been a decade or more of hard work separating these two almost polar opposite chapters of my life, right? Wrong. Try six years. And if you’re going from the demise of my ill fated marriage until today, when things still weren’t dramatically different from the first paragraph above, you can make that three and a half. I have wasted much of my life so far as a pessimist. I still struggle with it. But it is much easier to challenge that way of thinking now that I’ve seen the seemingly miraculous changes that are possible in life.
To be continued…