Good day to you, folks. I’ve got some serious philosophical rambling to do today, so let’s get right into it! I don’t care what the context is; security is no more real than the fairy tales people tell their kids where everyone lives happily ever after (the American versions, that is; the German versions are a whole different ball game!). A bike locked to a rack is a bolt cutter away from being stolen. A lifetime employee is a disappointing trip to the boss’ office from being unemployed. A decades long marriage can be ended by divorce or death on any given day. No matter how secure a home may seem, it can still be robbed, burned down, hit by an asteroid, etc. Even something as big and powerful as a country can, and eventually will end. And of course one day, we will all die. In my case, this was, and still occasionally is, a very difficult concept to accept. But it is an integral part of life and in fact, without it, life might not even be worth living.
When I was a kid, I remember the kind of fantasies I would have about my future. I would be a pro athlete, a rock star, an astronaut, the usual stuff. But for me, there was a unique element. Instead of romanticizing the excesses or glorious moments of these “dream” lifestyles, as I’m sure many people do, I lusted after mostly one aspect – the security. Sure, I would have whatever I wanted. But that was a footnote. The real draw was that no one could ever take my dream life away or put me in any real danger at all. I could cordon myself away from the world and never be exposed to any problems again. I would simply be too rich, too famous, too powerful to take down. Obviously this wasn’t realistic. Living any of those lives, I could still have been taken out by a plane crash, a car accident, or cancer. Rich and famous people are killed by all of these, and by plenty of other things, on a regular basis.
As a young adult, I had similar, but more scaled down dreams. Gone were the fantasies of fame and fortune. I didn’t need admirers or a mansion or a fleet of Italian sports cars. I just wanted a decent house with a decent car and a wife who loved me for who I was. I thought the fact that I only wanted “enough” made me enlightened. But I still had the same illusion that one day I would have this elusive security, if only I could accumulate enough money to protect me and provide for a reasonable set of wants and needs for the remainder of my life. And make no mistake; this is a personal demon that I have to contend with to this day. Somewhere in the recesses of my mind, enough money will buy me security. And that has led me to chase and hoard money relentlessly. I have been very successful in this pursuit; but at times I’ve taken it to an unhealthy degree, especially in my thought processes. There is a word that sums this all up well – fear. My mind tries to tell me I’m not strong enough to win out against the problems I face in life. It tries to tell me my only option is to outrun them.
But that option doesn’t really exist and even if it did, it wouldn’t be the right one, or even a good one. The people who get closest to having no problems at all have bad outcomes at several times the rate of people who don’t. Lottery winners often squander their newfound wealth in a matter of years and end up less happy than they were in the first place. Genetic lottery winners (pro athletes) often suffer a similar fate once they’ve retired. Musical lottery winners (rock stars) destroy themselves with drugs at a much higher rate than that of the general population. What goes up will inevitably come down and if the ascent is abrupt and rapid, the descent is likely to be the same way.
Of course, balance is crucial in life. Just because security isn’t possible, it doesn’t mean you’re going to leave your car running in the driveway with the doors open or visit the darkest alley in the most dangerous part of town at 2am with neither a weapon nor a companion. It also doesn’t mean you adopt the “I might die before retirement anyway so why bother saving anything” attitude. There is a reasonable range of security levels in life and your ideal point within it depends on your unique situation. But step one is to get to a point somewhere within it.
To be continued…